Monthly Archives: December, 2016

Setting Goals for the New Year!

December 27th, 2016 Posted by featured, Uncategorized, writings 0 comments on “Setting Goals for the New Year!”

The next few days and weeks mark the end of the old year, and the coming of the new.  How we view it depends on what we have done,  and how much or little we have left undone.  I’ve always liked even numbers, so leaving an even numbered year takes a bit of a push for me.  I tell myself, 2017 is going to be great!  Getting myself pumped up for the twelve months to come.  Woohoo! But aside from this transition period, I suspect most of us will take stock of the last 12 months and take a look ahead to the future.

This is the time when I take stock of what my goals were just a year ago.  Do they match where I feel I am today?  Do they need fine tuning?  Am I feeling emboldened to actually reach out for the next goal?  Am I prepared to stretch a bit?

For example, in my first job, rather than ask for a raise, I devised a very circuitous strategy.  It didn’t work hop over to this website.  It was fun, and even funny, but not successful.  Lesson learned.  Just ask for the raise.  This object lesson is true in many areas.  Just advocate for yourself.  And for me, in 2017, one of my goals is to devise the best strategies I can to advocate for myself while learning how to better advocate for others.

My goal for myself in 2017 is to work hard at engaging with women, listen to what they are saying, and see if I can help them achieve their dreams.  Let me emphasize again the word ‘their’.  It is all too easy for us to say, well, gee, I think I would do X.    Maybe the person you are with wouldn’t do that.  Your style, vision, and dreams aren’t going to be that of somebody else, or at least not very often.  Just as another person’s goals aren’t yours.  But one thing we can all pledge to do in 2017 is to help each other achieve our goals. This will be a very good thing!

Christmas Memories and Joy

December 19th, 2016 Posted by featured, Uncategorized, writings 0 comments on “Christmas Memories and Joy”

My childhood Christmas memories bring back thoughts of a very special season. Thoughts of a house filled with music (my mother loved carols), the smell of cinnamon, brightly colored decorations, and a recollection of the reason for the celebration.

No matter what your religious affiliation, this time of year is celebrated across the globe. For many of us, it is a time to gather close with family and friends.  Hearing my kids talk to each other, and being able to interact with extended family creates an atmosphere of great joy.

You don’t see this decoration any more, but we used these long stringy so-called icicles- which the more dedicated among us would hang on a tree.  One by one.  A painful process. Others of us with a bit more verve (or simply too much impatience) would hurl them at the tree, where they clumped unattractively. Today we are more careful and the result makes me happy.

We save firewood ensuring we have enough to keep a fire burning in the fireplace.  For most of us, a fire brings a real sense of warmth, safety and companionship.  For some of us, there is a bittersweet flavor if we have lost loved ones during this time of the year, reminding us with affection of those no longer present.

This year our three sons and their families are going to be with us for the weekend, and I am looking forward to it with huge anticipation.  There will be kids ranging in age from 18 months to nearly ten years old, and adults ranging from the thirties to years we don’t discuss.  But no matter the age variation, we are all united in our desire to share companionship, friendship and love.

I hope for each of you that the coming days are filled with joy, and peace, and the warmth of being with loved ones.

It is Normal to be Multi Faceted

December 13th, 2016 Posted by featured, Uncategorized, writings 0 comments on “It is Normal to be Multi Faceted”

We live in a world with incredible avenues for information: TV, print, our phones, computers, electronic tablets. But we get other, and I believe more valuable information, from people. How people behave tells us about them, and about the general world we inhabit. Ultimately we learn about ourselves as well. Order Texas Tenacity today!

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I behave one way, while other times quite differently. This also seems to be true for others. We see others in one context and then we are astonished to see a very different person in a new environment.

My own grandmother was a case in point. To the uninitiated, she seemed very straitlaced, rather stiff, without a lot of zip, verve or pizzazz.   My eyes were opened to a wholly different and astonishing side of her when I realized she was a devoted fan of Friday night wrestling.

My grandmother – the opera and symphony buff- was transformed into a zealot about wrestling. I never found out where this unexpected appetite for the sport came from, but it was genuine. In fact, it was as genuine as the opera buff persona. And yet what contrasts. This taught me that many of us have different ‘skins’ depending on where we are.

It is sort of like how we behave when we are all dressed up and going out. We walk and talk differently. We know we are on parade. And what if others have expectations for us about our externalities? Our parents probably made it clear how we were to behave in particular circumstances, and so we either conformed or we didn’t, but we knew there was a ‘view’ expected of us.

The lesson from all this is that I learned it is normal to be multi faceted. To have various expressions of you, the individual. We aren’t going to be confined in a box. And I have learned the only way to direct our destiny…is to be the person we want to be.

We don’t want to direct our destiny toward being someone else. I remember as a kid being fascinated by those cylinders which you could twist and jumbled colors would fall into amazing shapes. We are like those people. Twist us one way, and we appear one dimensional. Twist us another way and we are wholly different.

We should celebrate and embrace our abilities to be multi faceted. As we observe others with their fascinating personalities, so will others observe us. These lessons about us and others come from everywhere, if we simply are open to seeing. What have you seen that reminds you of this?

Our Own Path is the Right Path

December 5th, 2016 Posted by featured, Uncategorized, writings 0 comments on “Our Own Path is the Right Path”

One of the toughest challenges many of us face as teenagers is meshing with our peer groups.  How we look, the color of our skin, any physical characteristics, all of these have a part to play.  It can be excruciating if we vary from the norm.  And when we don’t fit in, essentially we are standing out.  We want to be accepted.  However, the word ‘uniform’ is actually a pretty unattractive concept.Order Texas Tenacity today!

Why on earth do we all want to look exactly like one another?  I’m not referring to a school uniform, although for a bunch of years I wore one.  It seems more to me that we are to be uniform in our views, how we express ourselves, and we need to ‘get the look.”

What the hey! Get the look…of someone else…so I am just a look alike?  What’s up with that?  I remember trying both to fit in and of course, at my way above average height, I always stood out.  Getting anybody else’s look was a futile effort.  With some embarrassment, I did try a few small things, which were notably unsuccessful.  So I didn’t want to be different or stand out.

Until later.  At some point I had become aware enough of diverse environments that I was willing to risk being different.  I began to be educated about life, and its different facets, and how individuals have different personas. Risking being different takes a level of self-confidence that can be hard won.  The balance between standing out and fitting in varies from person to person.  It can be a definite struggle.

Recently I was with a group of women who are all accomplished leaders but their self-images varied markedly.  Some felt fully empowered and just wanted some directional advice for next steps.  Others were still struggling to not make waves, to fit in.

What I have discovered is that we sometimes impose our own limits on standing out, or even more to the point, standing up for who and what we are.  We can all help each other in achieving our particular goals.  What we don’t want to do is to impose our views on other women.  What we view as standing out in a good way may be too aggressive for some.  So, let’s be sure we listen to each other, that we truly tune in to each other.

Our own path is the right path.  Ultimately we know where we want to go and who we want to be in the end.   Have you had a recent change in your life where you were more able to stand out and stand up for who you are?